The Best Book I Read This Month

 

Recently, I reread a book that I read a long time ago while I was still in secondary school. Its been a long time so I’ve forgotten a lot of details, so rereading it was as interesting as reading it the first time. The book is called “ My Sister’s Keeper” and it was written by Jodi Picoult.

The story follows Anna the youngest daughter of the Fitzgerald family who sues her parents for rights to make her own medical decisions after a life of being her sister’s Kate sole donor. Her sister was diagnosed with leukemia at a young age. At the time, Anna’s and Kate’s older brother Jesse wasn’t a match for Kate. Neither were both their parents. Desperate to save Kate, their parents decide to have Anna through In vitro fertilization to create the perfect donor for Kate. Throughout the years, Anna has gone through countless transfusions. She is unable to live her life like other kids because she must always consider her sister. She cant take long school trips in case Kate urgently needs a donor and if Kate gets hospitalized, Anna gets hospitalized too.

Despite this, Anna loves her sister and has always been willing to donate. It wasn’t until she was asked to donate a kidney did she finally became unwilling. The kidney donation wasn’t guaranteed to save Kate. In fact there was a huge chance she would die on the operating table. A kidney donation would also permanently impact Anna’s life as she is interested in Hockey and donating a kidney would prevent her from ever playing any physically demanding sport. Acting on her own, she meets a lawyer and hires him to sue her parents for medical emancipation.

It was quite confusing in the mid parts of the novel since Anna clearly expresses her love for Kate and personally I couldn’t see her having the conviction to deny a chance of saving her sister. In the end, Anna wins the trial but it was revealed that it was Kate that wanted Anna to do all this. She was tired of living and felt guilty for keeping Anna from her freedom.

Unexpectedly, at the end of the novel, it was Anna who died due to a car accident after the trial. Because Anna had expressed her willingness to donate her kidney to Kate to her lawyer before, the lawyer gave permission for the donation to go through. As a result, Kate recovered and felt immensely guilt. As she was the one who asked Anna to sue her parents, she felt as if she caused Anna’s death. If Anna had never sued her parents, she would have never gotten into an accident on the way home from the trial.

What motivates me

      I find that I’m mainly motivated by responsibility and interest. I realize that I tend to prioritize work that effects not just me but other people like group work. So if I were to have both individual assignments and group assignments, I’m inclined to do the group assignment first. More often than not this causes me to fall behind on my individual work but to me, I find it less mindful to neglect my own work since it will only effect my own grade.

Besides that, in terms of studying, responsibility to myself and my parents is what motivates me. Since my parents spend money on my tuition and have put their trust in me to study well, I try my best to live up to their expectations.

As for interests, I find that I do things easier when I like them. I’m sure this applies to everyone. We don’t need anyone to force us to do our hobbies since we genuinely like and take interest in them. When I do things that I like, I’m highly motivated and hardly mind extra effort. If the topic of a subject or an assignment interests me, It isn’t hard to will myself into studying or completing it quickly without any procrastination.

            Generally speaking, I’m not a strongly motivated person. My bursts of motivation are brief and quick. So while I might get a burst of motivation after attending a motivational talk, I’ll soon lose that motivation. Though I do try to make sure I get done what I should get done. I’m hoping that I can become a more motivated person in the future.

What brings joy into your life ?

One thing that brings joy into my life is friends and family. They support me in difficult times and help me enjoy myself. Sometimes enjoying yourself doesn’t have anything to do with what you do but with who you’re with. Doing the same thing with different people might make you feel different. Doing things with acquaintances is not nearly as enjoyable as doing things with your best friends. They make you feel cared for and they know you best.

            Besides that, there’s a hobby that I really enjoy doing these past few years, reading web novels. I probably read too much web novels to the point that I don’t even remember the titles anymore because I go through quite a few in the span of a week. Whenever I skim through novel sites, my eyes automatically go to the summary, so whenever I tell my friends about the story I’ve been reading, I never seem to be able to tell them the title. I particularly like the sad ones. The frustratingly angsty ones that makes you lose emotional brain cells. For some reason Chinese web novels have a lot to offer in this particular genre. The downside of reading Chinese web novels is that It’s a hassle to find fully translated novels and when I can’t find translated chapters for a story I’m already too deep into, I resort to google translate. As a result. I sometimes find my English writing sounding like google translated Chinese novels. I have a friend too who enjoys the angst genre a bit too much. So its fun sharing stories with each other.

 

A childhood recipe that I still make today.

        I occasionally experience sudden low sugar blood levels. My hands would tremble, I would feel hungry and break into cold sweat. It’s usually because I didn’t eat enough or because my body has a high metabolism so it digests fast. When I do get low sugar blood levels, preferentially I would like to eat something sweet since that works best for immediate effects and only afterwards would I eat a proper meal.

        Since I was young to remedy this I would make this weird half dissolved and half not dissolved Milo. The recipe consists of double the normal Milo powder you would usually use in a glass and cold water. Since I used cold water, the Milo only partially dissolves creating chunks of floating Milo powder at the top and the water turns into a light Milo. I would eat the chunks while drinking the light Milo. I’m not sure why I decided to make this instead of making a normal Milo but I think my justification at the time was that I wanted something sweet fast. Thus what is known in my household as the ‘lazy Milo’ was born.

        The habit stuck and to  this day I still make it even when I don’t have low blood sugar levels. My brother likes it too for some reason. My father too but my mother would go “eew” before drinking it regardless. I don’t make it for them exclusively, since whenever they ask me to make Milo I would just make regular Milo but they steal in sips whenever I’m drinking my weird Milo. Except my brother though he has asked for the ‘lazy Milo’ specifically.

 

 

Favorite Podcast This Month

 

I don’t usually listen to podcasts and generally I’m not interested in them but my brother listens to them quite regularly and he would let me listen to some of them. Occasionally, instead of putting on music when driving he would put on a podcast. Earlier this month, while driving to college he put on this podcast by a well known youtuber, Markiplier talking about his experience learning parkour in school. He even uploaded the podcast with animation of the events to go with the storytelling. It wasn’t a professional class but basically a gathering of three or four students who came after this one kid proclaimed to know parkour and offered to teach people after school.

The youtuber went thinking they would do some beginner parkour and at first they did albeit with a little risk factor of doing it on the forth story ledge of a building, but then they decided to jump off the second story and to do a forward roll as they land. The alleged teacher demonstrated first and then the others went one by one. The second person managed to do it and so came the youtuber’s turn. He jumped off and lands on his butt from the second floor. Weirdly, he was fine but the person who went after him fell on his face. I’m surprised no one died.

Well his experience did remind me of doing stupid things as a kid like riding the bike without holding the handles. That didn’t go well. Blood marked the end of that event. Back in school, I also remember kids trying to jump down a set of stairs and jumping from bench to bench in the waiting area. I think it involved 90% guts and 10% skills. The kids who managed to do it, all had this fearless confidence.

Do you find it difficult to ask for help?

     

      Whether asking for help is difficult or not, it really depends on the person you are asking and the nature of the favor. I believe most people consider these two factors when asking for help. We automatically screen what we can and can’t ask of a certain person and are most likely to ask help from close family and friends rather than acquaintances. Interestingly, there is a study showing that asking for simple favors can actually increase your likability. Of course, this is only in the case of small favors like asking to borrow a pen or asking someone to hold your water bottle while you tie your shoe.Apparently, its because asking simple easily done favors make people feel good about themselves, thus, it makes them have a better impression of you.

For me, I prefer to ask help from people close to me but if I could do it myself I would rather not burden other people with my matters. I would feel guilty for troubling them with my problems. And when people help me without me needing to ask, of course I’m flattered and grateful but this burdens me more than when I receive help after asking. Its because when people do this, I worry that I will not be able to do the same for them. So I would rather them not do anything. Its not that I distrust them or that I think they expect something in return for helping me but healthy relationships need to have a moderately balanced give and take value. If they keep giving to me but I’m unable to give back to them, then maybe someday I’ll lose them.

Favourite Quote

Quotes are essentially famous words spoken by distinguished, successful people. These people might live in a whole other world than us but famous people are also people. So even if we might never reach their heights, humans all have similarities to some extent, so some of their words are bound to resonate with us. Especially when we share the same personality, experiences or values.

One quote that I like is a saying by Albert Einstein. “ When I was young, all I wanted and expected from life was to sit quietly in some corner doing my work without the public paying attention to me”. I like this saying mainly because I relate to it a lot. When I first heard of this quote, I started thinking about what I could do in my life considering my introverted personality. What job would make me happier? And I remember thinking how nice it would be if we could really do what we wanted without considering bigger concerns in life. But I am aware that rather than trying to find something that would perfectly fit me, I should also believe in myself. I should believe that I am capable of adapting and that even if my chosen profession goes against some aspects of my personality, it doesn’t mean that my life will be devoid of any happiness.

I also like this quote because it tells a story. It tells a story of a young kid who socially struggled and eventually grew up to be acknowledged by the public for generations, becoming a great thinker quoted in various areas like imagination, life skills, science and creativity.

 

Visiting a Foreign Country

 

Visiting a foreign country is a novel experience. One that leaves you with precious memories and countless tales to tell. In the past, I have visited two foreign countries, Singapore and Saudi Arabia. Back then, when my family travelled to Singapore, we were living in Johor near the border. So when we went to Singapore, it hardly felt like going to another country. As a young kid, going to Singapore was a fun daily trip to me like going to the zoo or a pet store. I knew Singapore as the place where there was no water in the toilets and the place where I couldn’t litter. While I knew it was a different country, I never registered whether everyone else was speaking a different language or whether the culture was different. Maybe it was because Singapore is quite similar to Malaysia in some ways or maybe it was because I was too young to be aware of those things but Singapore felt more like an extension of the city I lived in. 

On the other hand, when my family went to Saudi Arabia for Umrah, it was like entering a whole new world. The weather, the people, the culture everything was vastly different. What I found fascinating was that when in a foreign country, there were many small details that aren’t usually talked about but you find yourself noticing. For example, the roads in Saudi Arabia were unusually dark. They were completely black, while in Malaysia, tar roads are usually more of a dark gray colour. Such a difference came to be because it rarely rained there so the roads accumulated a lot of dirt and car emission making the roads black. It was also extremely dry, to the point that we couldn’t even smile without getting a cracked lip by the end of our trip.

There was also the palace in Mecca, located extremely near to the Masjidil Haram. The first thing that we think about when mentioning castles and palaces is some form of grand architecture heavily incorporated with a culture’s tradition, like the castles in Europe or Japan where we can clearly see the distinct style of their countries’ traditional buildings. The palace in Mecca however was a modern skyscraper. I thought it was a hotel of some sort but it was actually a palace.

If i was ever given the chance, the country that i would like to visit the most is Japan. It has both natural beauty and the attraction of modern cities.  I really like the sceneries that exist in Japan like the iconic Cherry Blossom trees or the beautiful mountainous landscapes. I also find the traditional architecture very beautiful. When combining both the natural beauty and the cultural beauty I think it creates an exceptionally beautiful view unique to Japan. Though after experiencing the winter in Saudi Arabia, which only reached about 16 degrees in the morning, I’m not sure if I could even survive spring in Japan, which has a temperature of around 5 degrees in the morning.

 

How has my friendship with someone inspired me to become a better me?

 

    When I think about friends who have inspired or made me into a better person, two friends immediately come to mind. Both went to the same school as me from primary to secondary school. Though they both influenced me in different ways.

    My first friend went to the same primary and secondary school as me but it wasn’t until secondary school that we became close. Before that we had close to no contact at all. We both ended up in the same class as we had similar grades.  But while our academic performance were about the same, what made her different from me was her drive to succeed. I watched her as she planned her future. She always seemed sure of where she wanted to go. She had her goals and she did her best to achieve them. Once she sets her mind to do something, she commits to it fully. This driven mindset was consistently present with her.

    As someone who struggles to commit to hard work I found her very inspiring and admirable. I still remember, back when she was a matriculation student, she told me she wanted to study in Australia because there was a programme that offered to send excellent matriculation students to study abroad. Later on, she actually achieved this goal. She’s currently studying at The University Of Queensland in Australia and she made me realize that big dreams can become true if you work hard and plan for it. All throughout our school years we’re usually told to dream big, but once school ends we limit ourselves with reality. Our dreams suddenly become very limited. So watching her made me feel like my ambitions from my school years were rekindling again and I was inspired to do my very best in my studies so that I won’t have any regrets in the future.

    In contrast, my second friend made me a better person through the experience that I went through while befriending her. This friend had also gone to the same primary and secondary school as me but we were already close since primary school. When we managed to get into the same class in secondary school, we became even closer.  She was a fun person to be around but she started showing a possessive streak towards me. She got angry as soon as I spoke to someone else and when she got angry, which she did often, I would have to apologize to her repeatedly. It didn’t matter if I didn’t do anything wrong, I had to apologize to her because she would’ve never given in. Apologizing to her also took a while. It took repeated apologies several times a day all the while she ignored and shoved me away.

    Because I couldn’t speak to anyone else other than some people in our friend group, I was practically disconnected from the rest of the class and I grew dependant of her because if I didn’t have her, I didn’t have anyone. At the worst points of our friendship, I hated her and wanted to break free but I also understood her to an extent. She was insecure and she felt like she didn’t get enough attention at home so in a way she wanted to monopolize me. The story between me and her is a long one. She did a lot of things that made me feel awful and we gradually drifted apart. In the later years of secondary school, when we bumped into each other, I could tell that she felt guilty towards me and she had jokingly acknowledged one time how bad she had been to me. I think in a way she wanted to apologize but felt to awkward to do it. My experience with her shaped me to become a more patient and understanding person. If I had never experienced my friendship with her, I don’t think I would be the person I am today. So in a way she made me a better person.

 

 

How I Respond to Change

  

  

     Change is inevitable. No matter what we want, there will be times when we will have to face changes. Naturally humans reject change but change can  be good. It can help  bring us to a better place and make us a better person. Even bad changes are sometimes just rough roads paved to a better life.

For me, how I respond to change depends on what type of change it is. Small changes like a change in food prices don’t bother me much but what really effects me is when the change influences my connection to people. When I’m put in a new environment ,I have a fear of not being able to make new connections, of not being able to find people I can be comfortable with.

In my life, I have experienced moving states twice and both times I worried about not being able to make friends. When it comes to change, I tend to take a natural approach. I prefer to let things unfold by themselves and just go with the flow. The first time I moved to a different state, everything worked out by itself and I believe the change in that period of time played a big part in shaping the person I am today. I was quite young when I first moved states, so I’m sure that helped me adapt better.

The second time I moved states from Terengganu to Kelantan, I was 18 and I was much more reluctant to let go of the friends I had made in Terengganu. I was also  more reluctant to open up and form new friendships. At that moment in time when I was adapting to a new place, I deeply missed my friends. This time around, everything didn’t work out as naturally as it did the first time. It took a while to accept everything but gradually I grew used to life here. While I can’t say that this change was welcomed but I believe it made me a stronger person.

Every time I experience a big change in my life, I look back once the dust has settled and I see that I have become a changed person. Sometimes it’s a bad change and sometimes it’s a good one. Sometimes the change I experienced mould me into a better person and sometimes it doesn’t but one thing for sure is that to improve one must go through change. Just as Roy T. Bennett once said “It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”

In conclusion, while I can’t say I like change, I respond to change by accepting. Whether it be a bad or good change, I accept it and face it so that I can come out as an improved person.